D O C U M E N T 2 4 1 A P R I L 1 9 2 6 2 5 1 Point 1 is presumptuous because it is significantly easier to describe another person than to describe oneself, of all people. With oneself, one always mixes up what one is with what one would like to be and what one doesn’t want to be. So, in the best case, the result is a very rough approximation. From the fact that my opinion about myself changes a lot in a short time, I con- clude that I am generally fickle and erratic in character. This would be one fixed point. You have long since found out that I’m egoistic.[8] Then there’s a side of me that is tremendously lazy. Furthermore, another side, that rebukes me for my lazi- ness. I mainly consist of such dual personalities. On one hand, I believe that I’m talented and maybe could one day do something important, but another voice in- side me tells me that it’s just delusion. Finally there’s a third side deep inside of me that smirks at both opinions. And you think me capable of presenting such a com- plicated system of contradictions in a short letter? As far as my giftedness is concerned, some talent is detectable in the following areas: mathematics (incidentally, not as much as would be appropriate for a son of yours), to some extent natural history, ancient languages, modern languages, liter- ature, music, drama, philosophy, etc., etc. But I would be at a loss to tell you what outstanding talent I might have, or what greatly interested me. This is a fault, but that’s the way it is. Maybe I’m most interested in drama and theater. I read a book about this that I liked a great deal: Die Welt im Drama by Alfred Kerr.[9] You’ve probably heard of this man he lives in Berlin and writes critiques for the Berliner Tageblatt. This book by him is quite excellent. Although, sometimes you shouldn’t think of it as: “Perhaps very witty, but not true,” but “Perhaps not quite true but witty.” And you have to like the brilliant style, the pertinent humor and the audacity with which he says everything. But I’m digressing. Part 2: “What gives me pleasure.” Uh oh, this too is a quite expansive area! I’m happy, for example, when I get something good for lunch. That has a decisive in- fluence on the mood for the whole day. This probably seems petty to you, but there’s nothing you can do about it:[10] that’s simply how I am. There are otherwise also masses of details that altogether do make a difference. (Or, as I once put it so incomparably nicely in a poem: This does seem right by the way, But often it’s the details that hold sway.) I would perhaps also put school under rubric 2, if the teachers weren’t so boring and monotonous. And if my classmates weren’t so boring and monotonous. And if the whole operation wasn’t so ghastly boring and monotonous. So, it doesn’t fit here. The only consolation is that now that we’re on vacation I realize that without school one wouldn’t be doing anything more sensible anyway.
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